So over the past few years, since I haven't been blogging, a whole lot has happened. I've been dating an amazing guy for a year and 5 months, and it has been an awesome year. The reason for me coming to back to my blog, was to write out my thoughts, the thoughts that daily run through my mind.
Tonight, while sitting in the den by myself, I just happened to start listening to "You Won't Relent" by Jesus Culture, and it really spoke to me, granted all music usually speaks to me, this song just really did. I think that we take Christianity so delicately sometimes, we want to treat our "christian" lives as though God can't see every move we make, or hear every thought we have, but tonight it hit me that God is really everywhere, and he's not going to relent until he completely has all of us, all of our mistakes that we think are too big for him, all of our mind, everything. God sent his son to die for our sins, so that we could live for him. End of story..no, not really, It doesn't end there, God intends for us to have a perfect life, but we choose daily not to, because we are sinful, but that doesn't mean that God is going anywhere. He sent his SON for us, would you send your son or daughter or only child, or loved one to die on a cross for the entire world as it is and what's to come? Why don't we understand this? Why do we treat God like he's some old man that can't really hear or that can't really fix any of the problems that we have? That's exactly what he's wanting, he's wanting us to come to him, in Isaiah, he clearly says, "come, all who are thirsty, COME". There is nothing that is too big for God.
Lately, I've been feeling a lot like I was to small for God, that I was just one in a million, and that he cared about me, but not really. Well that was just Satan trying to confuse me, and make me think that I wasn't good enough for God. Well God was quick to show me in more ways than one that I am. There was a situation that was going on, that I was so angry and hurt about and I didn't understand why God would allow it, but I just stopped, prayed and told God that I knew he loved me, little ole me, and that he wants nothing more than for me to love him and trust him. He won't relent until he has my whole heart, so even through this tribulation, God didn't give up, and he didn't allow me to give up. I realized very quickly that what I wanted wasn't always what God wanted, but out of that turmoil came something so amazing, and I am so thankful that I chose to believe and have faith in him.
God never lets us down, he may not react the way that we think he should, but he always knows whats best. My biggest thing is realizing that God is bigger than anything I do, and that if I would just give him my whole heart, I wouldn't worry about the small things. We have to set our eyes towards heaven, the past is the past, our mistakes are over, but Jesus died on the cross for those, in return he just wants us to love him and live in his will the best way we know how. That's what I'm striving to do daily. It's constantly a fight to not let Satan win, but my God is greater, and my God is stronger, and my God will overcome that. My God won't relent until he has it all..meaning all of me, every single part of me. I am his. I am made in his image, born of his blood, and I will forever be grateful that I have a God that loves me and won't relent..ever.
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